Tagged by Horny Vimal & Kerbau Miang

Starting time: 3.09 pm
Name: Irwin
Sisters: One (evil)
Brothers: One
Shoe size: 8
Height: 172 cm
Where do you live: Currently in Penang Island
Favourite drinks: Anything drinkable liquid
Favourite breakfast: McD =)

Have you ever been on a plane: Yup but rarely..excited to be on the plane (practically watch the small screen ni)
Swam in the ocean: Yeah!
Fallen asleep in school: Oops..always do
Broken someone's heart: sighs..
Fell off your chair: Alot..
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: Kinda..but since they don't care to call..I don't wait..
Saved e-mails: Alot..1000 ++
What is your room like: Kinda clean for now..cause I clean it today morning..
What's right beside you: The whole dekstop set and house phone?
What is the last thing you ate: My lunch

Ever had chicken pox: Yeah, but forget when
Sore throat: Rarely
Stitches: Head, hand, leg and got many place somemore..lolx..
Broken nose: Got gua..
Do you believe in love at first sight: Yeah..Once..
Like picnics: Yups with my friends..and family (my parents n siblings)
Who was the last person you danced with: No idea
Last made you smile: no idea..practically no1
You last yelled at: No1 too..

Today did you:
Talk to someone you like: Not yet?
Kissed anyone: no chance for today..
Get sick: No lar..won't fall sick that easy
Talked to an ex: Nope
Miss someone: Maybe..but my workload overcome my feeling for the time being
Best feeling in the world: When I feel happy =)
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: I throw them away..=..=
What's under your bed: some unwanted stuff
Who do you really hate: I don't really hate ppl..just dislike their freaking attitude
What time is it now: 3.21 p.m.

RandomsQ:
Is there a person who is on your mind right now: err..yeah?
Q: Do you have any siblings: yeah..
Q: Do you want children: yups. not necessary should be mine..adopted will do =)
Q: Do you smile often: err..yeah?
Q: Do you like your hand-writing: Kinda..my father "rotan" me when I was young beside of my writing..WTF
Q: Are your toenails painted: nah..
Q: Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in: any bed..as long comfortable and not smelly
Q: What colour shirt are you wearing: red?
Q: What were you doing at 7:00pm yesterday: doing something on the comp..or maybe studying..forget d
Q: I can't wait till: Semester break..so I can go out..
Q: When did you cry last: Few months ago
Q: Are you a friendly person: Most probably..but college peeps say I am fierce..
Q: Do you have any pets: Rusty, Ong Bak, and those fishies who r nameless..lolx

Where is the person you have feelings for right now? erhm..studying, most probably..no idea..
Did the last person you held hands with mean anything to you now? I forget whose hand I hold..no idea..=S
Do you sleep with the TV on? Nah..my mum will scream her lungs out if she see me.
What are you doing right now?Completing the tag?
Have you ever crawled through a window? Many times..
Can you handle the truth? Obviously
Are you closer to your mother or father? Mum lor..
Who was the last person you cried in front of? No idea?
How many people can you say you've really loved? Less than 5
Do you eat healthy? yeah? for now..need to build body
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex? Yups..
Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you? yeah? my father?..lolx
How often do you go to church? Every week..
If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to? my close peeps..muacks
Are you loud or quiet most of the time? Quiet..but can get extremely loud when my gang is around..lolx
Do u get it? huh?
Are you confident?Depends.

5 things I was doing 10 years ago..(1998)
1- was in standard 2?
2- doing some crappy hw
3- sleep between my mum n dad..and often kick my dad down?
4- world is all about TV!!
5- no idea? eating and shitting perhaps..

5 things on my to-do list today
1- Revision
2- Online
3- Chemistry
4- Homework
5- Talk

5 snacks I enjoy
1- D
2- U
3- N
4- N
5- O

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire
1- give my parents money
2- super big big house and more pets
3- charity
4- don't wanna work for the rest of my life
5- shop till I drop

5 of my bad habits
1- malas gila
2- gossiper? not so often nowdays
3- jealous?
4- tak tau lar
5- Spend toooo much time online and music

5 places I have lived in
1- Penang Island
2- Inderawasih
3 -Inderawasih again
4- Back to Penang Island
5- next dunno go where d

5 jobs I've had
1- part-time promoter for D'Urban
2- part-time promoter for Smalto
3- BAND PRESIDENT
4- CONDUCTOR
5- mummy's boy =)

The Lucky Five
- D
- U
- N
- N
- O

Politic Take 2

I would like to present the "Malaysia Boleh Spirit"

The Malaysian Rowing Team

To prove that Malaysia Boleh, an annual boat rowing competition was organized against the Japanese Rowing Team. It was agreed that each team be made up of 8 members and the two nations would alternately host the race.

After months of intensive training,the maiden race was finally flagged off!

Result: The Japanese won by 1 km!

The Malaysian team felt deeply humiliated by the result. The Management was furious and vowed to win the following year’s race at ANY cost. A special think-tank, comprising so-called experts from various fields, was set up to analyze the situation and to unearth the root cause of the problem.

Upon in-depth analysis, the experts observed that the Japanese had seven rowers and one captain.

Whilst the Malaysian team had SEVEN CAPTAINS and only ONE ROWER!

After much deliberations, a bright idea hit upon the Management and they decided to hire a consultant firm to salvage the Malaysian Team.

After months of tinkering and much hoo-ha…

The consultants finally submitted their recommendation:
They concluded that there were indeed too many captains and too few rowers on the Malaysian team. A solution was proposed to the Management, basing upon this supposedly BRILLIANT finding:

“The structure of the Malaysian rowing team must be re-engineered immediately.”

Thenceforth the new set-up would be:
•1 manager
•2 supervisors
•4 captains
•1 rower

Other recommendations:
•To shorten the working time of team members so as to allow them to take their families for holidays
• A pay-hike of 150%

Came the following year, the Japanese won by 2 km!

The Malaysian team immediately sacked the rower, blaming him for the latest disastrous result.

Whereas a bonus reward plus extra perks like fancier car and luxurious housing, were doled out to the officials for their outstanding display of showmanship during the preparation phase.

Meanwhile the consultant firm released yet another new set of findings, one which opinioned that the strategy had been good, the motivation satisfactory, but that the tools needed improvement.

They also recommended that the competition rules be rewritten (deemed to be grossly unfair to the Malaysian team). It was further recommended that the NEP be incorporated into the new rules. The new rules shall remain in force until 2056, with an option to further extend until 3030.

Meantime a sure-win formulae has been hatched up
by the Management.

The winning strategies of the Malaysia-Boleh team:

• That the race shall be held in Malaysia perpetually.
• Members of the Japanese rowing team shall make up of not less than 51% indigenous Malaysians.
• A handicap be imposed on the Japanese team. As such they shall be competing in a less sophisticated boat – one built with an 25-year-old technology to be supplied by Proton.
• It is also mandatory that the Japanese team commence the race 3 km. behind the starting line. The Malaysian team, by virtue of being the sons of the Malaysian water, will get to start 1 km. ahead of the starting line.

Currently, the Malaysian Team is designing a NEW DREAM BOAT!

And the Management is seeking out a foreign partner to partake in this new venture.

A plan is also in place to set up a RM5 billions sampan-rowing academy in Switzerland.

MALAYSIA MANA BOLEH?

Ever wondered why the Malaysian’s sport teams, police force, armies, GLCs, etc., in short the whole government machineries, are all faring so poorly?

Politic Take 1

Hey ppl, another crappy politic joke from me

How much would it cost to (telephone) call Malaysia from Hell? You'd be
surprised!

Queen Elizabeth, Bill Clinton and Ahmad Badawi die and go to hell. But
the devil has only one phone there. Queen says, I miss my England , can
I use your phone and hear how my people are doing down there.

She calls and talks about five minutes. Then she asks: Well devil, how
much do I owe you for the call? The devil says: Five million pounds.
She writes him a cheque and goes back to her chair .

Clinton wants to make a call too. He says I wanna call the US . He talks
about ten minutes, then asks how much do I owe you devil? The devil
says Ten million dollars. He also writes a cheque and goes back to his
seat.

Badawi is jealous. He says I want to call Malaysia . He calls and talks
for about an hour to his son-in-law who is busy trying to find
Mr.Petronas. Then he asks the devil how much do I owe you?

The devil replies: only one dollar. Badawi is shocked and asks 'why so
little?'.

The devils says: if you make a call from one hell to another, IT'S LOCAL
CALL.

Into Politics?

Hey guys, I am finding jokes about our Malaysian Politics and I happen to come across this drama kinda script, with the title

The Candidate

PM: Okay people, you all know we have to face Anwar in Permatang Pauh and that is not exactly kacang puteh, so we must get the best candidate or we will be eaten alive.

Najib: Actually there is only one candidate here who can fight him there and he hails from a nearby constituency.

PM: Who, who? Call him now.

Najib: Its you Pak Lah. Only you can win there. I suggest you resign your seat and take on Anwar in Permatang Pauh. As for Kepala Batas, it is a safe seat.

PM: Wow, what a good idea. When he trashed me real good, I will be without a seat in government and an easy target in our own elections in December. Very clever ha you. Why not you go there?

Najib: Cannot la. I am not from the North and the people are blaming me for that sodomy case so they won't take too kindly to me. I still believe you are the best candidate la.

PM: I know you la Najib. Okay, I could do it but when I resign, Khairy will act as the PM. You agree?

Najib: Er, er, it was just an idea la, and I can see that it is a bad one. Forget it la.

Samy: Er, Pak Lah. I also can. I have no seat now so I am free.

PM: Samy why don't you stop joking? We are serious you know.

Samy: I am serious la. Why you think I Indian, I cannot win in Permatang Pauh ka?

Najib: Hey Samy you can't even beat a Muslim fundamentalist if you were to contest in Mumbai la.

Annuar: Like this la. Lets accept facts, we know we are going to lose. Last I heard, punters are willing to kuyu BN about 5000 votes, its a lost cause la. Why not we say we are fed-up with them playing a fool with the elections and boycott the by elections.

PM: You mean run away?

Annuar: If we lose with a smaller majority, Anwar will still get in but if we lose with a bigger majority, malu and mampoih la.

Samy: Why must lose with bigger majority?

Annuar: In March no sodomy case also we lost by nearly 14K votes, now got sodomy charges and everyone don't believe it, so what happen?

Muhyidin: I think we put Ezam la. If anybody is going to get slaughtered let it be him.

Nazri: Why not the last candidate, Uz Firdaus?

PM: I heard he is afraid that if he loses, his chances for Ketua Bahagian would be lost.

Samy: I know, I know. We put that Sepol fellow. In our posters we put a picture of his arsehole. Surely can get sympathy one.

Kayveas: Hey Samy, you go play outside with the Puteri UMNO la, kacau only. Talk like retarded boy only. Chit.

Samy: Aiyo, I pe-ning kepala with this Kayveas, what you say? I cannot tahan you already la, come la if you are brave.

PM: Shut up you two. Go to the corner there and turn towards the wall. Go now.

Nazri: What did Tan Sri Rashid say?

PM: Not enough time to bring the Nepalese, Tibetans and Eskimos here. We have run out of ICs to issue.

Samy: Hey Najib, what about your wife? Nowadays everybody is afraid of her what. Put her la. Surely very explosive affair one.

Najib: Shut up la you. What my wife did to you that you want to talk about her like that? You want me to call her here ka?

Samy: Haiyo, no la. Joking only la. I want to die in one piece.

PM: We still do not have a candidate.

Najib: Hmmm..No matter who the candidate is we will still lose so why bother with a strong one? Lets just put in someone insignificant and let him be slaughtered.

PM: Yes I agree. Aaaa, Samy! Samy! Are you really interested in Permatang Pauh?

(but somehow uncle samy was clever enough to escape, at last Arif Shah was the choosen candidate to be slaughtered)

cheers,

irwin

FCUKING MALAYSIANS WITH FCUKING PUNCTUALITY

phew, that was seriously a harsh title, but I just can't stand this malaysian attitude of not being punctual..u go late because you think the other person will be late and the other person will go late thinking u will be there late..WTF attitude is that?

U FCUKING MALAYSIAN need to learn how u manage ur FCUKING DAMN TIME and be PUNCTUAL lah..ish geramnya..

_____________________________________

anyways put it aside,but I am really pissed off now..

I got a kinda joke on how malaysian behave and their fcuking attitude...have fun reading..

Legend has it that George Washington, America's first president, chopped down a cherry tree in his youth. George gives the tree a good swing and chops it down with an axe . His father sees the damaged tree and asks his son if he knows who did the deed. George is quoted bravely admitting the truth :- "I can't tell a lie, Pa; you know I can't tell a lie. I did cut it with my axe."

This is a satire of how some Malaysian politicians circa 2008 may have reacted to the question :-

>> PM Badawi - I did not cut down the tree, I was just taking a nap underneath it.

> > Najib - I swear that I have never MET that tree.

> > Hishamuddin- ... but I only own a keris, not axe, how to cut down the tree.

> > Dr.M - Apa nama cherry tree, I chopped it down because, I don't like the idea of Pak lah sleeping under it.

> > Chua Soi Lek - Yes it was me, I resign as caretaker of this orchard.

> > VK Lingam - It could be me, it might have been me but I don't think its me.

>> Saiful - It could not be me, Anwar was fcuking me hard!!

> > Anwar Ibrahim - I DID NOT do it, and I am not giving any DNA samples for you to plant on the axe handle.

> > Khir Toyo - the new state government should just trim the grass and not waste time asking who cut the tree.

> > Ahmad Said (Terrenganu MB)- I chopped it because cherry trees are more expensive to maintain than durian trees.

> > Azalina Othman - The cherry tree is not included under my tourism MOU so I cut it down. Besides there were unauthorized signboards put up around the tree.

> > Shabery Cheek - I challenge you to a debate on tree cutting.

> > Samy Velu - I chopped it because HINDRAF members were using it as a meeting point

> > Wira Ali Rustam - We have planted Durian trees for 50 years and we will plant them for another 50 years, we do not need cheery trees, apple trees, pear trees and all these other foreign trees.

> > Rais Yatim - you must see the bigger picture, Ahmad said cherry trees are expensive to maintain, Ali Rustan said that are against our national identity and I needed to test my new axe, so you see- its a WIN-WIN situation all around.

> > Sharir Samad - I cut the tree because we could no longer afford to subsidize it.

> > Karpal Singh - The bigfoot creature did it.

> > Bung Mokhtar - The big monkey did it

> > Pandikar Amin Mulia - There is nothing in the standing orders against chopping cherry trees, Kinabatangan duduk, Bukit Gelugor duduk.sit down.

> > Khairy Jamaluddin - I did not do it, neither did the mat rempits. By the way, what's a cherry tree ?

> > Lim Kit Siang - In response to Khairy - cherry tree also you don't know, you are an insult to Oxford.

> > Nazri Aziz - racist, racist, racist, when we cut down durian trees nobody made a fuss.

> > Malaysian Citizens - oh for heavens sake! Somebody plant something before we all starve to death. (still malaysians answer the LAST CAUSE THEY R NOT PUNCTUAL TO THE MEETING!!!!)

>>Irwin - the moral of the story is, MALAYSIANS don't have the attitude of admiting their mistake, they ALWAYS..i repeat ALWAYS blame others or anything that struck their mind at that very moment..to avoid further confusion..I CHOPPED DOWN THE FCUKING CHERRY TREE..any problem with it?

cheers and pissed off,

irwin

In State Of EMO-ness

Posting something here for the sake of updating it ok? Nothing much lately, just busy with college, college and more college..
Thanks to Mr Tan (my physics lec) keep on reminding us every time in class..this is the 6th week, 7th week...u left _ weeks to your exam..and that certainly gives me hypertension and high blood pressure.
Classes are going like usual, kinda really put effort in writing this week's GP essay. If I get another C or D..I swear I will go super crazy in the class.
And Jun Kee remain dancing on my nerves every monday and thursdays..why the fcuk can't he just follow the damn syllabus, keep on jumping here and there..HOW MANY FCUKING THINGS AM I SUPPOSE TO READ UP JUST BECAUSE U TEACH AS U WISH...fcuk lar..for the past few days, I burnt midnight oil by drinking cups and more cups of INDOCAFE until my blood taste like INDOCAFE and fcuk my pee smells like INDOCAFE..=.=..don't ask how.

SUPER DAMN STRESS K..

I'm not enjoying life as it suppose to be..WTF is going with me..I am writing this out of emo-ness and pain..(okie the pain is physically not visible)..

Let me cut this short

1) I need something that I can't explain to you guys

2) I need break from all this FCUKING THINGS like college

3) I can't wait for next week sem break

4) Stop annoying me..U r getting on my nerves..Stop acting as if u r my fcuking bitch..I am not related to you..=.=

That's all..FCUKING POST..

p/s- I won't be that hyper fcuking emo just because of college k..it is..FCUK OFF..U NO NEED TO KNOW