Into Politics?

Hey guys, I am finding jokes about our Malaysian Politics and I happen to come across this drama kinda script, with the title

The Candidate

PM: Okay people, you all know we have to face Anwar in Permatang Pauh and that is not exactly kacang puteh, so we must get the best candidate or we will be eaten alive.

Najib: Actually there is only one candidate here who can fight him there and he hails from a nearby constituency.

PM: Who, who? Call him now.

Najib: Its you Pak Lah. Only you can win there. I suggest you resign your seat and take on Anwar in Permatang Pauh. As for Kepala Batas, it is a safe seat.

PM: Wow, what a good idea. When he trashed me real good, I will be without a seat in government and an easy target in our own elections in December. Very clever ha you. Why not you go there?

Najib: Cannot la. I am not from the North and the people are blaming me for that sodomy case so they won't take too kindly to me. I still believe you are the best candidate la.

PM: I know you la Najib. Okay, I could do it but when I resign, Khairy will act as the PM. You agree?

Najib: Er, er, it was just an idea la, and I can see that it is a bad one. Forget it la.

Samy: Er, Pak Lah. I also can. I have no seat now so I am free.

PM: Samy why don't you stop joking? We are serious you know.

Samy: I am serious la. Why you think I Indian, I cannot win in Permatang Pauh ka?

Najib: Hey Samy you can't even beat a Muslim fundamentalist if you were to contest in Mumbai la.

Annuar: Like this la. Lets accept facts, we know we are going to lose. Last I heard, punters are willing to kuyu BN about 5000 votes, its a lost cause la. Why not we say we are fed-up with them playing a fool with the elections and boycott the by elections.

PM: You mean run away?

Annuar: If we lose with a smaller majority, Anwar will still get in but if we lose with a bigger majority, malu and mampoih la.

Samy: Why must lose with bigger majority?

Annuar: In March no sodomy case also we lost by nearly 14K votes, now got sodomy charges and everyone don't believe it, so what happen?

Muhyidin: I think we put Ezam la. If anybody is going to get slaughtered let it be him.

Nazri: Why not the last candidate, Uz Firdaus?

PM: I heard he is afraid that if he loses, his chances for Ketua Bahagian would be lost.

Samy: I know, I know. We put that Sepol fellow. In our posters we put a picture of his arsehole. Surely can get sympathy one.

Kayveas: Hey Samy, you go play outside with the Puteri UMNO la, kacau only. Talk like retarded boy only. Chit.

Samy: Aiyo, I pe-ning kepala with this Kayveas, what you say? I cannot tahan you already la, come la if you are brave.

PM: Shut up you two. Go to the corner there and turn towards the wall. Go now.

Nazri: What did Tan Sri Rashid say?

PM: Not enough time to bring the Nepalese, Tibetans and Eskimos here. We have run out of ICs to issue.

Samy: Hey Najib, what about your wife? Nowadays everybody is afraid of her what. Put her la. Surely very explosive affair one.

Najib: Shut up la you. What my wife did to you that you want to talk about her like that? You want me to call her here ka?

Samy: Haiyo, no la. Joking only la. I want to die in one piece.

PM: We still do not have a candidate.

Najib: Hmmm..No matter who the candidate is we will still lose so why bother with a strong one? Lets just put in someone insignificant and let him be slaughtered.

PM: Yes I agree. Aaaa, Samy! Samy! Are you really interested in Permatang Pauh?

(but somehow uncle samy was clever enough to escape, at last Arif Shah was the choosen candidate to be slaughtered)

cheers,

irwin