39th entry

So I reached my 39th post..*yay*, but then I'm not in the mood of celebrating it. Don't ask me why. Can cry until banjir. Okies, it is not as serious as you think.duh. Things don't come easy as we really wish. They come with pain, suffer and little bit of tears and duh not forgetting emo. So practically we all wish for things to get, to come true and bla bla. Tell me more about your dream come through so easily like cinderella or snow white? or maybe shrek? haha.. keep on dreaming. Looking back, I didn't really get what I actually wished for.. Let's see I wish for 11 A1s, instead I got 10 As? duh.. I wish I was given a scholarship?? duh again..Good thing at least I can get the merit scholarship..And let's see what more I asked? Well it is my dirty little secret.


So as you can see, what we dream is different from what we actually get..I'm not blaming God for make things go hard and wild, but then my question is why do we get what we want but in a small version? or sometimes something different but it has the same value or importance with the things we wish for. (You have to do some reflection of yourself and God rite). Okie fine..I'm not here to debate about God. I don't get to religious cause I have my personal belief, even I'm a christian and goes to church almost all sundays except for some Sundays which I keep aside for my evil-doings..duh..okie cut the crap..I don't even know why am I writing this post.

The truth is I really don't know that whether you can accept me or not..(obviously I'm refering to someone here)..lols..I know you know that I like you, but then you are not giving me any respons? That is making me go crazy..well I don't expect you to suddenly come and scare me by saying all those loving words..but then I think there should be at least some positive or negative feedback rite..I don't mind if you give me negative feedback but then say something..please? I really wanna bring you out but then..always get rejected for some reasonable reasons or maybe you are just making it up? I really don't know..swts..I have waited for a year and maybe more. I think its finally time to make some decision. Or should I wait somemore..Many are asking me to move on..but then I insist on moving on with other girls cause I know what I really want, and what I really want is you. So I shall just waited for your answer? I dunno..Let God and time decide..but you somehow have to say something..Waiting..

till then, waiting
mwaxx