...

I am so officially sad and so fucked up emoing, I really don't know why is this happening now to me. I thought I will stop being emo. I did stop being emo, I was so happy till 10 pm, but then the fucking emo tsunami just attacked me in a sudden. Maybe just because I'm actually leaving the band for real, and the most thing I miss in band is Pn Tan. Don't get me wrong but then I just love that woman, she is so special to me. The best mother, teacher and friend goes to her.

She was not only my band teacher but then something more than that, she was my friend and losing a friend because I'm leaving the school is so fucking thing. I just can't stand it..I cried in the car while driving back home just now. Is so not me k..I waited for everyone to leave and it was so hard to leave behind the things I love the most. I waited for her to leave and finally I drove back. I really wanted to go to school and help things out but I was scare that I will burst out in tears. So I just drive back home and I really din't want to go back home.

And I wanted to do something before I go back but then...haiz, is just not happening. Why is it so hard for you to understand me? I really want a chance to be with you.(definately not refering to Pn Tan)..is just someone whom I know, I really wanted to go out alone but then there is just disturbtion everywhere. You just make me cry now cause I really want you. Hmm, I think I had enough of talking. I really hope some angels could just help me..

till then, crying

p/s- I love you..